2007

JANUARY
526 1st Now we are three OMF statistics, and good wishes to most people)
527 3rd Happy New Year, Iraq From the US Marines)
528 5th Many very elderly men... (Planets, from the sun)
529 7th Nonce-words (A new book that doesn't contain any)
530 11th Don't try this at home (Swallowing swords...)
531 13th The mystery of Napoleon's hat (Part 1) (A wise choice...)
532 15th The mystery of Napoleon's hat (Part 2) (...but how did it work?)
533 17th Dan Brown's Body (Be one of the few who never read his works)
534 19th Here they come (US immigrants to expect soon)
535 21st Er, probably (Is scourge a unique word?)
536 23rd The darkness deepens (A great tune appallingly rendered)
537 25th Bush spells it out (SOTN on video)
538 27th The misnudged quanta (Remarkable prescience from a science fiction writer)
539 29th Looking ahead (...ditto, from a famous novelist)
540 31st A better kind of hat (Hundreds of spectacular ones on parade)
FEBRUARY
541 3rd Talking proper (Is my accent cute?)
542 5th And it goes marching on (Top of the Holy Pops)
543 7th Solangism (Chauvinism for the ladies)
544 9th Writers block (An unusual way of getting over it—which doesn't work)
545 11th A disease of ones own (Have a personal malady)
546 13th Hold the front page (Totally uninteresting story about David Cameron)
547 14th Valentine (What the Arab Love Song really means)
548 15th A new Great Leader of All Turkmen (You will need to practise saying his name)
549 17th I'm the plain and simple kind (Eartha at 80)
550 19th The third Monday in February (Presidents Day and a story about Bourbon)
551 21st Upon the fretful porpentine (An outstandingly stupid hat)
552 23rd Not easy, but worth it (Fireworks in bed)
553 25th True Grits (Hominy and Pocahontas)
554 27th Not funny any more (Melting the North Pole)
MARCH
555 1st It's not the way that they say it (Not only nasty people swear)
556 3rd Would you like a nightcap? (This one is free)
557 5th Listening in (Overheard among the Fruit & Veg)
558 7th Birthday honours (How I spent mine)
559 9th Money is tight, not trousers (Jane Austen on money. And slew/slonk defined)
560 11th Off with his head! (Carroll and Shakespeare)
561 13th Googie Withers (But what was she christened?)
562 15th King from the valleys (The first of the Tudors had a weak claim)
563 17th Conservapedia (containing a variety of useless or misleading facts)
564 19th The rock icon and the B-movie star (The trial of Phil Spector)
565 21st Matari (Journalist, explorer and funny hat wearer)
566 23rd N A Chess, not En Haitch Ess (The letter is NOT Haitch)
567 25th Plutocrat's Paper (The Sunday Times just adores rich people)
568 27th Last lines (Try to identify the last lines of 25 books you might have read)
569 29th Sorry! (How many slaves did your Grandpa own?)
570 31st Faithful to the last (Stayed with Hitler but never joined the Party)
APRIL
571 3rd Giovanni Antonio Canal and his gang (Two ways of seeing London)
572 5th Not particularly welcome (The OED accepts new words we don't need)
573 7th Good and Bad (The curate's egg explained)
574 9th Memoirs of a Banquet Speaker (Thurber has to think fast)
575 11th More Thurber (A drawing)
576 13th Fnord (Not a Norwegian word)
577 15th Misconceptions (Mr Bean is not funny)
578 17th Gun (Everybody should have one)
579 19th Can you or can't you? (A confusing warning on a packet of duck legs)
580 21st Oons for everyone (Let's throw a party for Oons)
581 23rd Hair today (Parting is such sweet sorrow)
582 25th You can't cross here (The world has more barriers than it used to)
583 27th Bright Ideas (Some American patents are astounding)
584 29th Now, the picture (Another gem from Thurber)
MAY
585 1st Next lines of songs (25 of them: provide the next line, and the name of the song)
586 3rd The King of Clouds, afro style (Clouds are good)
587 5th What shall we sell? (Shops that can't decide)
588 7th Gunism (Why Americans love guns)
589 9th Watery Fowls (Pretentious?)
590 11th No, don't hit me, I'm just leaving (Goodbye Tony Blair)
591 13th Hanky-panky (The word's origin, and a useful Japanese device for nose-blowing)
592 15th Sooty of the Yard and Sir Stafford Crisp (The facts, according to Conservapedia)
593 17th Drastic action by Xenu (Scientological beliefs)
594 19th Bad words (Occasional swearing)
595 21st Next lines of poems (25 poems: Next line? What poem? By whom?)
596 23rd The Father of the Bride (...makes an insincere speech)
597 25th Voices Over (How to upset the artistes)
598 27th O lambent flame (Ustinov sings!)
599 29th How Long, O Lord...? (Problems for Noah)
600 31st Jewish Mother, R.I.P. (The end of an icon)
JUNE
601 2nd Mother Courage (A different kind of mother)
602 4th Phew! (Get used to it)
603 6th Recipe for a Salad (by Sydney Smith)
604 8th How about a Beefeater newt? (Olympic logos and mascots)
605 10th The hidden rules of English behaviour (An anthropologist looks at our little ways)
606 12th Keeping the mud off their balls (An English name for a piece of pétanque kit)
607 14th Feeble endeavour (The original Morse is rubbish)
608 16th Two invitations (Lutcher and Clooney suggest we visit them)
609 18th Happy times in Paris (But not for everyone)
610 20th Anything goes (You're the top, you're a song by Porter)
611 22nd Cucumis melo (About melons)
612 24th The saviour of the human race (The story of Miss Pinkham's medicinal compound)
613 26th Hole in the wall (The man who invented them)
614 28th Don't mention the class war (The English don't talk about it)
615 30th Ten easy steps to dictatorship (How to create a fascist society)
JULY
616 2nd My talks with the famous (Two fascinating discussions I very nearly had)
617 4th Foaming pud (Syllabub)
618 6th We need some new clichés (From soaps)
620 10th A literary partnership, almost (Prosper Merimée and Mary Shelley?)
621 12th How did it go, now? (Now I can remind myself of that tune)
622 14th Two Canadians (Black and Mervish)
623 16th Irregular Turkish cavalry commits atrocity (A lady's poem about a terrible massacre)
624 18th Erethizon dorsatum (Porcupine recipes)
625 20th Buy one immediately (Patented for your protection)
626 22nd Arabian Nights (Magic in Bagdad; sadly, its only a film)
627 24th Top people (Who's got charisma?)
628 26th Finding a faith (My search for a good one)
629 28th Still two to come (Words describing Cameron's situation)
630 30th Top to bottom (Rigoletto doesn't get the hump)
AUGUST
631 1st 149 years at Drayneflete (Osbert Lancaster shows how the town developed)
632 3rd This must be birthstrangled (Silly new verb)
633 5th The old bruiser (Denis Healey at 90)
634 7th Wish you were here
635 9th What is cricket?
636 11th Joining in
637 13th Two Spaniards
638 15th A la vôtre!
639 17th R.I.P.
640 19th Sound advice
641 21st Luxury!
642 23rd E K Wisty's Domination League
643 25th Arsm
644 27th Serendipity
645 29th No violence here
646 31st Raptors